Midnight Sex Talk

ANAL SEX ROUNDUP

Curtain up on depravity!

The Midnight Sex Talk Easter Special generated more text messages, and giggles, than any other show so far. How could it not, with Tim Fountain, 'The Biggest Pervert In Britain', in the hot seat, and Al Needham's hilarious Straight Man's View over the phone. Sadly, Emily Dubberley couldn't make it in the end, but she'll be coming on the show very soon I'm sure. For a start, here's a very cool Tim and Kim before the show:

I hope our cackling was not to the detriment of your listening pleasure. My excuse for mild hysteria: I had a very late one at Torture Garden the night before, and was also tripped up by the clocks. Thanks muchly to TG (note the initials; there must be some affinity there) for getting us in. We had a great time, but it's just as well the charming gentleman I was with declined my offer of a cup of tea when dropping me off, or I might not have made it to the studio at all...

As usual we got down to the essentials, with some useful info from manscat.com, which provides succinct and down-to-earth explanations for burning questions like 'Why is shit brown?' And the show would not have been complete without a reference to Santorum. Scroll down for the definition.

We also mentioned paean to rectal transcendence The Surrender by dancer Toni Bentley, an account of her anal odyssey. For her it was a deeply spritual experience, and conferred on her a 'sense of immortality'. Aye, mebbe. But I have to say, gruffly, that she had plenty of choice in the matter. The rise of arse-porn is entitling too many people to think straight anal is just another option, when it's definitely not for everyone. If a porn actress's career depends on whether she'll do anal or not, then things have reached a pretty pass. It's one thing to be anally aware, but not everyone wants it, and not all men want to be pegged either. Although I think more do than would ever admit it.

But plus ca change, as I often say. A TV producer friend remembers being in New York sometime around 1968, and seeing a headline in Screw magazine: DOESN'T ANYBODY JUST FUCK ANY MORE? Food for thought.

For once we weren't in the mood for solemn health warnings, but from whichever angle you're doing it, take care. And men, look out for yourselves anyway in that department. Last week was Prostate Cancer Awareness Week. Enough said.

On a much lighter note, here's Al in full stripping glory. I had no idea he had such a bulging CV, or I'd have mentioned it on air!

We did not play the show out with Ring of Fire, but we could have.

Good news - the most excellent Scarlet subscription offer is continuing throughout April. Twelve issues and a Pleasure Pack (worth £104) for thirty nine quid. Go on, you know you want to...

EASTER SUNDAY - ANAL SEX SPECIAL

We've got a cracking show coming up for you this Sunday: a guided tour to all things rear entry.

In the studio we're privileged to have the very busy Tim Fountain, creator of the hit stage show Sex Addict which, as you'll see from the link, got some surprisingly prim responses from many corners of the mainstream press. You can catch him teaching at the Arvon Foundation later in the year.

We'll also be getting some thoughts from Emily Dubberley, editor of Scarlet and author of two new books Brief Encounters - The Women's Guide To Casual Sex and Things A Woman Should Know About Seduction.

And columnist and Scarlet writer Al Needham has got quite a few things to say about it all as well.

And I promised I'd mention Scarlet's March/April subscription offer: 12 issues of the mag and a Pleasure Pack - all for a fabulous 39 quid!

We want to hear from you lot out there - tell us what you think of anal sex! Do you love it? Hate it? Think it's the ultimate transfer of power? Or do you you reckon it's just pointless and wrong because the anus was designed to expel waste rather than provide access to guests, and doesn't it make a right mess?

Email us anytime at the link on the left, or text us during the show on 07957 362 182.

Where & when: Sunday 27th March, 11.30pm - 12.30am GMT, on Resonance 104.4 FM in London, and Resonancefm.com everywhere else in the whole world - which is a message that still isn't getting across to some people. C'mon folks - this is global communication at its best!

So if you've had enough chocolate, relatives, Jaegermeister, or all three, (we know how tough Easter can get), come on down...

SEX TOYS ROUNDUP

This week, Midnight Sex Talk began with a text from a nice Dutchman, who told us we should 'play more sitar music'. Well, we're not that kind of show, but just this once we played a live set; of a battery-operated kind, anyway...

Angel from Sh! Womenstore was a star. She brought a whole goodie bag full of stuff, from Jessica Rabbit and the G-Swirl (see image below) to your old-school straight up vibe. Not to mention the Ultra Vector Egg, with a buzz like a rocket, and the Shhh!, Sh!'s own specially designed strapless wearable double dildo. I'd love to link to all this stuff individually, but you've got to go right into the site to look. Anyway, it's worth it! The shop's at 57 Hoxton Square, London N1. They're nice and approachable in there, and you can have a cuppa while you browse.

Lube, we agreed, is a sex toy in itself. Favourites include Liquid Silk and ID Pleasure. Don't forget, silicone toys don't like silicone lubes. For more advice, try Nice Sex Toys.

As usual, we examined both the lighter and the darker sides of it all. For a start, take the absurd Harry Potter Nimbus Broom (what were they thinking?). Yep, it vibrated, and parents couldn't work out why their daughters (and sons) were spending quite so much time with it upstairs. And then there's the Hello Kitty Vibrator. But the show wouldn't have been complete without a few of those nasty accident stories beloved of A&E staff, which always sound apocryphal but are in the main true. They're not just for smirking purposes, though - proper sex toys are designed not to get stuck in you, nor you in them, unless you're being really daft. So, for God's sake dump the pepperpots, hoovers and candles, unless you have SAS training.

(But remember: like all machinery, even sex toys need a little respect. If, god forbid, you get a vibrator stuck where the sun don't shine, they may not be able to operate on you to remove it until the battery runs down. And if you get a cock ring stuck, I mean really stuck, they may have to use a Special Saw. Think about that.)

What if you're not near a decent shop? This is an issue in itself. Ideally, it's nice to check something out in real time before you buy it. We're OK here in London, we've got it all, but as Bertie Thewes of Mantric, who make interesting glass dildoes along with the Bedside Bullet, pointed out, it's time those big high street retailers got in on the act and made this stuff available to everyone. More profit for them too - what's not to like? So, yet again, thank god for the web.

Quoconque interponeris stabit. Heh.

THIS SUNDAY 13th MARCH: SEX TOYS - ARE THEY REALLY NECESSARY?

Thought that might get you reading! Here at Chateau Midnight Sex Talk, we love sex toys; it would be positively heretical not to. But sometimes you have to stop and think: as they morph inexorably from 'plaything' to 'absolute necessity', have they evolved too far? (Ditto lube.)

We'll be looking at the most popular toys, casting a curious eye over the more interesting, excessive, and expensive, offerings currently on the market, and dropping a few hints and health warnings into the mix. Joining us in the studio is Angel from Sh!, the first and still the best of the women-friendly, (hell, people-friendly), sex shops. They're celebrating their 13th birthday this year, and this is our 13th show...

So, tell us - do you have a favourite sex toy? Do you use them at all? Or do you think they're yet another example of commercial hijacking, and find them a bit pointless anyway? You can email us anytime (click on 'EMAIL ME' on the left), and you can text us during the show on 07957 362 182. And if you want to talk live on air, send us your number and we'll call you back.

Come and join us on Sunday 13th March, 11.30pm - 12.30am GMT, on Resonance 104.4 FM in London, and Resonancefm.com everywhere else.

TELEVISION NEWS
I promised more detail about Havana Marking's short films coming up on Channel Four:

The Great Relativity Show
Einstein and his glamorous assistant Mimi explain the Theory of Relativity in four easy parts: Light, Time, Energy and Gravity. Expect guns, nudity and explicit scientific language. The films, a mixture of illustration, archive and stop frame animation, are on every night at 7.55pm, from Monday 14th to Thursday 17th March, right after the Channel Four news.

RADIO NEWS
Here are three news stories I've seen recently. OK, they're mainly about the BBC, but they're showing that the world is as in love with radio as ever.

Brand Republic reveals a big rise in visits to BBC radio sites in January. The Guardian notes the rise in popularity of online radio, and the BBC's recent relaunch of their Radio Player. We say - all hail broadband!

SLIT ZINE IS HERE!

Finally it's out! So what's slit about? In their words, it's "...trying to articulate on paper the messy, serious, hilarious, delirious business that is jacking, jilling and getting off." Believe me, it's refreshing! I mean in the hot & slippery sense, of course. Click on 'slit' above for more details.

The launch was at the Lincoln Lounge in King's Cross; man, that area's changed. It's a good place, kind of a rough-at-the-edges New York art-bar feel to it, with sofas. Water dripped down occasionally from the greenhouse-type ceiling at the back, but hey, it's good feng shui. Lou, Liz and Paul were on fine form, with Paul on the decks. I have a feeling we'll be getting them all in the studio in the not entirely distant future...

NEW URL FOR DOWNLOADING OUR SHOWS + TECHNICAL INFO REVISITED

Here it is: http://www.backprojection.com/radio
We know the downloads are still jumpy at times, but we're on the case.

I just thought I'd repeat some of the technical info:

HOW TO LISTEN TO RESONANCE ON THE INTERNET

Some of you who've tried Resonance's audio page (bookmark that link!) have reported listening problems. Personally, I think the best thing to do is what they suggest at the bottom of the page, namely copy and paste the appropriate url into your player. There will generally be an option such as 'Open URL' or 'Open Stream'. The urls are:

http://212.23.57.33:8010
Hi Quality (if you're on broadband)

http://tempest.exequo.org:8000/resonanceFM
Lo Quality (if you're on dial-up)

Typical audio stream players are iTunes (for Mac) or Winamp (for PC).

HOW TO LISTEN IN LONDON

Switch the radio on and turn, click, or whatever, to 104.4 FM. [OK OK, just covering the bases!] Sadly, the signal is limited to certain central areas. If you're having problems with reception, go to the Resonance FAQ.

If you're having any problems, please drop us a line.

LAST CHANCE TO SEE
Just to say that the Shrinking Childhoods exhibition at Tate Modern ends on 9th March, that's this coming Wednesday. Check it out if you can - it'll tell you a lot about some of the hidden pain at the heart of our society. But with all those really important celebrity plastic surgery stories that need telling, no wonder it's hidden. OK, growl over.

Kids Company, the organisers, are putting a catalogue of the exhibition together, and are trying to raise money for it. You can donate here. They also need equipment, so have a look and see if you've got anything you can give them.

Here's a sample of the comments left by the visitors to the exhibition.

SEX IN THE MOVIES - ROUNDUP

From Some Like It Hot to Secretary, via 9 1/2 Weeks and Basic Instinct, Midnight Sex Talk covered all the bases and more. (Well, as much as we could do in 60 minutes anyway).

A big favourite, of ours and our listeners, is Donald Sutherland and Julie Christie in Don't Look Now (1973). And then there's Klute; Donald again, this time with Jane Fonda. I'm got a bit of a Donald Sutherland thing, actually, even in his more recent roles as 'renegade general', 'retired spy' or simply 'loose cannon with greying beard'.

We're going to have to learn some of the dreaded time management (is there no escaping it?). We're always having so much fun that we tend to hit the 12.30am wall with a bang. So, while we managed to mention Alex's new film review website, backprojection.com, we did not get around to telling you that Havana's first short (and directorial debut), about Einstein, is appearing on UK television, at 7.55pm on Monday 14th March. When I've got more details, I'll put them here. March 14th is of course Einstein's birthday. Hmm, Pisces, eh?

We didn't get onto censorship either - that's a whole show in itself, and we'll be doing it later in the year.

And here are Alex and Havana, enjoying Midnight Sex Talk's new studio space. ;-)